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Clogged up, pimped out: Crocs launches expensive designer versions for those with questionable judgement

Just when you thought you were free of the plastic horror that is the Croc, you can now buy it covered in fur or ‘diamonds’ for the very reasonable price of $350 and up.

Let your loved ones know you’ve completely given up on life with the versatile shoes that are not versatile anymore, because a whole cat’s worth of fur has been shoved into it.

Be the life of the party at your local gardener’s club when you arrive in your custom-designed marble effect and stone-embellished Crocs.

Despite becoming something of a running joke and only being acceptable for anyone other than nurses or children under the age of five, the Croc company, which was founded in 2002, is worth US$1.198 billion, making its money from the exploitation of people with sore arches and no general sense of self. 

As Emma Popping wrote, the faster the rise, the faster the fall. And Crocs, which were hugely popular for a brief, embarrassing period after it launched in 2006, seem to fit that bill.

Croc revenue fell six percent to US$324 million recently – down from US$345 million a year ago, and below the consensus estimate of US$348 million. Net income came in at $15.5 million, or 13 cents a share, slightly higher than $13.4 million a year earlier. The clog maker hit a share price high of US$75.21 in 2007. 

Crocs has had its flagship store in Newmarket since 2006. Now Aucklanders can rejoice, as the Christopher Kane designs can be purchased online and in-store from mid-2017.

The site boasts a healthy number of nine – that’s right, NINE – designs. Described as ‘easy to slip on’, ‘stone embellished’ and ‘perforated detail’, you’d think they were offering a refined piece of jewellery, not a plastic clog. 

The new, expensive Croc designs have already made a splash in the latest Fashion Week and, to the surprise of some, they’ve been a huge hit.

The next financial report for the year ending in June 2017 will show if the collaboration has helped. But consider this: Kane’s first Croc collaboration is almost completely sold out.

A version of this story first appeared at The Register.  
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