As you may be mildly aware, we are about to enter the Valentine’s Day zone.
Please note where the apostrophe goes in Valentine’s Day. There was only one St Valentine. I realise you might be hoping to receive several valentines but that’s still no reason to abuse grammar. I find such knowledge remarkably sexy, and I don’t think I’m alone in that.
Even when I am loved up I’m not a lover of Valentine’s Day. I like the idea behind such days – celebrating something that brings us joy, in the same way I enjoy Christmas in a non-religious manner (family, friends, ham sandwiches and pav for breakfast on Boxing Day). However, I don’t enjoy being bullied into purchasing overpriced things in order to look like a halfway decent person. Possibly this is because I am not a halfway decent person.
Fans of Valentine’s Day would and do say my iffy feelings about it are because I don’t have a partner – obviously rampant jealousy is behind my bitter spinster ranting, and not the questioning of blatant consumerism disguised as affection. Single people can’t be happy, is the message I’m getting.
I don’t like the sense of competition that ensues – what did you get? How much did you spend? The ludicrous assumption your partner doesn’t love you if they don’t get you an expensive declaration of their love on a day dictated by convention is just nonsense. Isn’t that a bit like assuming only people who get married are committed to each other (which the divorce rate does rather contradict)?
I am remarkably keen on receiving flowers, chocolate (the good chocolate, mind you), delicious romantic cash and other gifts from those who adore my magnificent person – I just prefer these things to be proffered on a day that doesn’t dictate it. Insanely I feel it means more when someone does something nice because they want to. Not because society expects it. I shake my fist at you, societal pressure, and try to resist your oppressive weight.
I do think if you’re going to embrace Valentine’s Day, then you need to do it with creativity and a good sense of humour. I once gave a beautifully wrapped head of broccoli to a young man who sadly merely appeared somewhat puzzled by what I’d done to his favourite vegetable. Obviously not a keeper but at least I got a great deal of enjoyment out of playing with his food.
Are you a lover or a fighter of Valentine’s Day? Ever sent yourself flowers to look popular? And have you considered vegetables as the new and edible alternative?